Originally Published May 2, 2022

We get embarrassed every once in a while but who goes out looking to feel more shame? Jia Jiang did. Not to mention he recorded and posted them online for 100 days. He is a CEO, Amazon bestselling author, TED speaker, and a Golden Gavel awardee by Toastmaster’s International. But before all that, almost a decade ago, he came across Jason Comely’s Rejection Therapy—now a company acquired by Jia. Inspired by Bill Gates’ speech in his hometown, 14-year-old Jia decided that by the age of 25, he will buy Microsoft. 16 years later, he was 30 and just started a business. So he thought, he might’ve not achieved that goal but would Bill Gates or any successful entrepreneur give up after a couple of failed attempts? The inner child would rather play in this sandbox called comfort zone but the man that he is knew that this boy could change the world.

Back when humans were hunter-gatherers, we tend to avoid the negative picture of a positive life. Our reptilian brains were programmed to belong, best believe we’ll be accepted all the time. No wonder why very few helpful tips were found when Jia searched for advice on how to handle rejection on Google. So you’re either risk-averse to actually have a thick skin for outlandish requests or be a yes-man and have an unrealistic nothing-but-positivity life straight out of a cardboard box. So Jia put it to the test and thought that instead of using 30 flashcards from rejectiontherapy.com, he will up the ante to 100 days of random rejection.

The pillars of this project were 1) Ethical. 2) Legal 3) Doesn't defy the laws of physics. One of the requests that changed Jia’s way of life is when he asked for donuts that were interconnected to make them look like Olympic rings. To his surprise, his wish was granted and they did it for free. This video garnered 5 million views in just 2 weeks. This was pre-TikTok when vloggers barely get that amount of views for a short period of time. The number of people who will do you a favor when you purposely try to get rejected is astonishing. Half of Jia’s requests were accepted, including someone instantly letting him fly a gyroplane. Your judgment is different from other people’s lenses and senses. Remember that It's not always about you. A single “No” could be out of trauma, a difficult situation, or whatever it is that is going on in their minds. Although Jia wasn’t insisting or pressing, one thing changed the entire game. Whenever you get a no, ask why. It is a prelude to a yes—which could be about something else or you may get referred to someone else. When you empathize and make them realize that you are concerned or curious, people will offer an alternative. Relax and be vulnerable because how you act gets reciprocated. Phrases like “this might sound really weird” get more heard because unfamiliar things are people’s entertainment. Start with small things that don't matter and it will create momentum. Insufficient information drives anyone skeptical because we would rather not get shocked by weird actions from a stranger.

If J. K. Rowling gave up after being rejected 12 times, there would be no Potterheads today. Barack Obama only won the election by 51%. Half of the population rejected him. Stephen King had his first work rejected 30 times before selling 350 million books. It goes to show that the people who actually change the world are valiant and went through the most violent rejections. Mandela and Gandhi were written in history because they weren't cowards.

Rejection is a powerful tool to deflate the ego. You might get hurt, yes. However, pushovers also get hurt. Even more terribly. The only difference is you get to desensitize your own emotional response if you try. Fear is crippling because comfort zones don’t expand until you put that grit muscles into a process that is on repeat. There is no such thing as in-born courage. Only calculated risks will keep you resilient. Discovery happens when you jump into the fire. If you would notice, people who are comfortable with discomfort are the ones who are charismatic. The tougher you become, the more difficult your requests would be. Soon you will realize that you have already hacked your mindset by forming a habit. Negotiation and communication skills are best accumulated through human nature more than in business schools. Failures are piled up assets, not liabilities. It may not be possible to be fearless but you can start to fear less.

if you avoid rejection, it does not mean that you will avoid failure. With growth, it is impossible to evade rejection. It is a gift that we finally get to be answered with a no so that we move on to another goal and leave our old beliefs that one day we might get a yes. Don’t shy away from that one “ask” tingling your intuition as one yes can completely change your life out of human kindness. Feel free to binge Jia Jiang's 100 Days of Rejection Therapy on Youtube!

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